Sunday, August 29, 2010

Confessions and absolute shame... Not waiting im starting now!

I have decided I'm going to exercise and watch what I eat until 20 Sep when it all officially starts. There is no use eating crap and lazing around its just making me feel guilty..

Craziness and confessions of what i ate today.. and not doing again for a long time.. so embarrased writing this down but its all about accountability isnt it? here goes,

BFAST: Bowl of cornflakes + 1 pce Raisin Toast
MT: Salmon Sushi + Chocolate Milkshake + 3/4 of Choc doughnut
LUNCH: Half a packet of Tubes (chips)
AT: Grainwaves and dip, shapes, and rice crackers and dip (at a bbq) worst nightmare.
DINNER: 1 large chop, 1 sausage, 2 pce garlic bread, mixed salad, & coleslaw.

& about 500 mls of Coke.

Ive had no water today!

Its crazy when you write it down, from now on im going to write it all down on here.

Feeling disgusting!

Oh ive also hung my little size 12 skinny jeans on my bed door for inspiration, I cant get them over my thighs at the moment, i cant wait to get them on after all this.


Friday, August 27, 2010


I wasnt always the loud overweight girl. Im only about 15 kilos over my healthy weight at the moment but its enough to bring my self esteem to an all time low, i havent been clothes shopping in years. I havent been out in ages and ive been totally letting myself go. At school i was in the popular group, maintained my size 8-10 body with absolutley no effort, then fresh out of school i put on 10 kilos, i tried diets and pills but nothing worked due to my self sabotaging ways.

I then had two children (4) and (17months) and now 5 kilos from them still remains, so altogether my goal to lose 15kilos would put me at my pre baby size.

I decided to join this challenge because i need a kick up the bum.. Despite having been going to the gym steadily doing 3 combat and body pump classes a week, i sabotage my efforts by eating the most disgusting fatty food. What a waste of all that effort. I need to change my mindset.

Im only 24, have awesome friends, a good job, im trying to get into uni next year to be a neonatal nurse, I own my house next to the ocean, been with my fiance since i was 16, and all round have a pretty good life. My weight holds me back. I dont go out with my awesome friends because i feel gross and fat around them, i dont go to the beach because of pure embarrasment, and my poor fiance, i mean im definatley not what i use to be. Im doing this to ignite the passion in our relationship, to be able to run around and jump and be crazy with my children and to have the confidence to strut around in a bikini this summer.

Michelle's pretask 2 was about excuses. Internal and external, the ones i constantly find myself using are:

1: Ill have it now and work it off later.
2: I shouldnt have to miss out.
3: No energy to go to the gym or for a run.
4: Magpie season = no walking or running along the waterfront.
5: Fast food is that. Its fast and cheap.
6: I pile the blame on my partner and kids ( baby weight + the fact my partner can eat whatever, not exercise and still be hot and then i ask for his support and pretty much tell him he makes me fat lol) poor guy.
7: I eat my kids food because we buy it and that would be wasting.
8: My work hours have changed there fore i cant attend combat anymore because its on when i work.

Looking at that its pretty lame hey.
Pretty sure im going to get over this with Michelle's help.